The problems with Indy IV (apart from the farking aliens):
1) Surviving a nukular blast in a fridge.
2) The cutesy little prairie dogs. (Fark you, Lucas!)
3) Some random guys with blowguns and costumes hanging out at an ancient cemetery for apparently no reason. It was like we'd switched into a Scooby Doo cartoon.
3a) Blowgun darts only have one pointy end.
4) Ray Winstone's character, Mac, betrays Indy roughly 249 times in the movie, and Indy continues to trust him over and over again.
5) Indy doesn't use a gun once in this movie. He never uses the whip as a weapon. Maybe he could have thrown some walkie-talkies at the bad guys.
6) In the other three movies, Indy solves puzzles and hunts for some sort of treasure. In #4, Indy follows some crazy guy through the jungle.
7) The prop skull looked like it had all the weight and shape of a football. That was one of the dopiest looking things I've ever seen in a movie.
8) Are we meant to believe an entire tribe of people spend their time hiding in the walls, in cramped spaces, of a temple just waiting for interlopers to come by? Shouldn't they be out hunting and gathering, or something?
9) The three waterfalls gag was lame.
10) "Everything is funnier with monkeys." This is a great truth to all things in life, yet this film disproved it. I seriously nearly got up and walked out of the theater when Cate Blanchett got attacked by Commie-hatin' monkeys.
11) The road-making vehicle gets blown up (with pieces of it flying in the opposite direction of the blast). Afterwards, a chase occurs down a TWO LANE ROAD in the middle of the jungle in the middle of farking nowhere. How'd those roads get there and who in their right mind builds a two lane road in the middle of farking nowhere? Do they even have two lane roads in North Dakota? Didn't think so.
12) The overdone CGI ending.
In summary, fark you, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.
Please keep in mind that I am perfectly willing to suspend disbelief in an Indiana Jones movie as long as the rules make sense in the genre they're playing in. The previous movies all did so. The fourth movie did not. This was not just a bad Indiana Jones movie, it was a downright horrible movie. I wanted to like it, but there was no possible way I could.
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3 comments:
I think you've been too kind, it was far worse than that ! :)
ya - you were too kind. there had to be at least 13 more reasons it sucked.
&Rew.
The whole premise was incongruent with the previous 3 films. I think a cool idea would have been to send Indy to Brazil to find a Nazi in hiding who had a secret cache of priceless art that the Nazi's stole. Better than frickin alien invaders.
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